i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
