It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
