PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
