This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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