see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
