we're blogging at a bar
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize