So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry about my life...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
