As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
