...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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