And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
