Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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