His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize