if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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