also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
