i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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