yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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