About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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