Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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