So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
