You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's shark week go big or go home
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
