I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
