Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
be right there i have to get my cape
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
