Define "chronic" masturbator.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
