Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
