So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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