Nicole vs. Life
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
