Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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