Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
