she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
4 words: hood of his car
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
