I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
