I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
