You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
