I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
