"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
