a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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