She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
