Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
