6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
