guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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