nut hugger
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize