it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
