We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
