he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
