I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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