$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
