I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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