Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize