Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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