Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
