So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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