eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
