how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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