We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
