apparently the secret to your success is patron
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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