I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
