I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
