it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
