You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
