would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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