i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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