She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize