no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
