The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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