that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
