I'm eating all of the evidence.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
