i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
