Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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