i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
