You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
