Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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