At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Best friends brother. Beat that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize