when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
